If you are wondering how to write your wedding vows, you’re not alone.
Writing your wedding vows is one of the most meaningful parts of your ceremony — and often one of the most daunting.
How do you put everything you feel into words… without it sounding forced, awkward, or unlike you?
The truth is, your vows don’t need to be perfect. They need to feel genuine.
As a professional wedding celebrant, I spend time getting to know each couple and telling their love story during the ceremony — so your vows don’t need to carry that whole weight.
In your ceremony, I tell your story, and your vows are simply the promises you make to each other.
And when you look at it that way, everything becomes much simpler.
What Wedding Vows Really Are
Your vows are your promises. There’s often a misconception that vows need to say everything, your story, your feelings, your journey.
Your vows are not a speech, and they’re not about explaining your relationship.
They are the promises you make to each other.
A few honest words. A moment of connection. Something that feels real when you say it out loud.
How to Start Writing Your Vows
The best place to begin is to keep things simple.
Ask yourself:
- What do I promise in our marriage?
- How do I want to show up for them?
- What really matters to me as we move forward together?
Write as if you’re speaking directly to your partner — not performing for a room full of people.
There’s no need for perfect wording. Just start with what feels true.
What to Include (Keeping It Simple)
Your vows don’t need to be long or complicated.
Most heartfelt vows include:
- Meaningful promises
- A sense of commitment to your future
- Words that feel natural for you to say
That’s all.
Simple, Promise-Focused Examples
Just to give you a feel for tone — not a script to follow:
* “I promise to stand beside you through whatever life brings, with honesty, patience, and love.”
* “I promise to choose you, not just today, but in all the ordinary days that follow.”
* “I promise to support you, to listen, and to build a life with you that feels true to us.”
Common Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)
It’s easy to overthink this part of the ceremony.
Try to avoid:
- Feeling like you need to say everything
- Trying to sound overly formal or poetic
- Comparing your words to others
- Leaving it until the last minute
- Your vows don’t need to impress anyone — they need to feel like you.
If This Sounds Familiar…
You’ve started writing… but nothing feels quite right.
You keep going back and changing the same lines.
You’re unsure if it sounds like you — or if it’s even “good enough.”
Or perhaps you haven’t started at all, because you don’t know where to begin.
If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.
And it’s often at this point that a little guidance can make everything feel much easier.
Support With Your Wedding Vows
Writing your vows doesn’t have to feel difficult or overwhelming.
With the right guidance, it becomes a calm, straightforward process — and something you can feel genuinely confident about on the day.
While I carefully craft and tell your story as part of your ceremony, I also support couples behind the scenes with their vows — helping you shape your words so they feel natural, comfortable, and truly yours.
Whether you need a little direction, help structuring your thoughts, or simply reassurance that what you’ve written feels right, I’m here to guide you.
Vow writing support is available as part of my celebrant services or as a standalone offering.
👉 Enquire about vow writing support
👉 Explore my celebrant services
About Rosie Anstey
Rosie Anstey is a certified wedding, family, and funeral celebrant, as well as a professional toastmaster and event host.
She creates elegant, personal ceremonies where each couple’s story is thoughtfully told — and supports couples in expressing their own words with confidence and ease. Take a look at my about me page for further information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do our vows need to match?
Not at all — they should reflect each of you individually.
How long should vows be?
Around 1–2 minutes is ideal.
What if I get emotional?
That’s completely natural — and always welcome.
A Final Thought
Your ceremony tells your story.
Your vows are your promises within them.
And when the two come together, that’s when something truly meaningful happens.
If you would like to see what it’s like to work with me, you can read kind words from my couples here. See what couples say about working with me
If you’d like support in finding the right words — or creating a ceremony that feels completely true to you — I’d be delighted to help. 👉 Get in touch to begin planning your ceremony or for support with your vows
